A groom’s-eye view of his wedding

It isn't often you hear the man’s point of view about his wedding, but Andrew Higgins thought very carefully about his, as it was his second. He tells us all about it below, but, quite simply, he and his bride chose to do it their way, designing a wedding that suited their needs. It made for a memorable experience that also reflected exactly who they are.

Andrew Higgins and Fabienne Bovis

Andrew Higgins and Fabienne Bovis

Andrew is director of e-learning at AUT University. After moving to Auckland, from Otago, he joined the YMCA gym at Northcote. As a diabetic, it’s important he keeps fit. He met Fabienne, Trade Commissioner for Canada, at an aerobics class, after elbowing her out of the way so he could get to the front of the class.

In a class mainly of women, Andrew thought it important the women didn’t think he was looking at them from behind as they worked out. Afterwards, some of the class would go for coffee, including Fabienne and Andrew. Two years later the couple were married.

When:

April 2007.

Where:

St John the Baptist, an Anglican church in Northcote, on Auckland’s North Shore. A quiet, 1860s little church, it has a large hall attached, where the couple held their first of two receptions. Afterwards, they had their wedding photographs taken by a close friend at the pretty Birkenhead wharf nearby.

Dress: sky-blue elegance

Fabienne chose an elegant, beaded, sky-blue dress from a Kingsland designer and had her satin shoes sprayed to match. Andrew chose kilts. Both he and his groomsmen wore tailored kilts from Birkenhead kilt-maker Kintail Kilts.

Concept: keeping it local

Andrew and Fabienne wanted to keep their wedding local, using local designers, locations, catering etc. But they also wanted it to feature a Scots and French cultural theme, alluding to their different heritages.

There was a degree of pragmatism about the wedding too: the aim was to bring lots of people together to celebrate. However, it was also about making a personal commitment to one another.

"It was something we wanted to do," says Andrew, who, unusually for a groom, was fairly involved in organising the wedding.

How: lucky tradition

The couple chose a friend to conduct the ceremony, a vicar who had worked with Andrew in Otago. For transport, they chose cool Armstrong Siddeley cars.

Andrew and Fabienne had an afternoon service and reception, during which they released a stream of chilled butterflies from hibernation, a beautiful tradition meant to bring luck. The church brought in seasonal flowers for them.

The service was followed by photos, before an evening meal with overseas guests. People flew in from all over for world for the wedding, as the couple have many overseas friends. There were Australians from Sydney, Perth, Canberra and Queensland; French relatives and friends; and Scots guests, as well as people who flew up from Dunedin in the South Island, and, of course, guests from nearer by too.

Reception: French-style wedding cake

French-style wedding cake

The main reception was held in the church hall and featured a splendid traditional French wedding cake from French baker Louis Bouquet, of La Tropezienne, in Browns Bay.

The elaborate and impressive cake included delectable profiteroles and was held together in a towering cone with melted sugar. Additional food was supplied by another French café, Au Bon Coin, in Beach Haven. A second reception was also held later on, in the evening, at the charming Verbena café-restaurant, for 50 guests. The favours were simple chocolate boxes from La Maison du Chocolat in Beach Haven.

Honeymoon: late, but great

Andrew explained that, historically, honeymoons were the only opportunity many couples had to get to know each other, and one of the few holidays of their lives. They often lived with their families up until marriage (and sometimes with them afterwards) and had children quickly. So, the honeymoon was a special time that allowed couples to be alone together.

Nowadays, it’s still about spending some exclusive time together, but the need isn’t as great so it doesn’t have to be straight after the wedding. Both Fabienne and Andrew travel a lot through their work – as we spoke, Andrew was heading off to Melbourne the following week – so the couple’s honeymoon ended up being a trip to Fiji together several months after the wedding.

Future: one and one makes three

The couple now live together with their beautiful baby boy, William.

Advice:

Andrew has been married before, so did a lot of research around the meaning of marriage and the reasons for it. His excellent advice is very genuinely felt and revolving around making sure you don’t succumb to outside pressures.

"The public vows and the reception can easily become about other people," says Andrew. "And, although it’s important to allow friends and family to celebrate with you and feel involved, this is an important moment in your life as a couple.

"Almost bankrupting yourselves, with open bars and three-course meals for hundreds of guests, simply isn’t worth it. Do it for yourselves and do what you want," he says.

Andrew is also wary of hen’s nights and bachelor parties. A so-called last night of freedom and ridiculous partying the night before the wedding doesn’t set a good note for the day, he says. Fortunately, a trend is emerging in New Zealand towards quieter hen and bachelor celebrations a week or two prior to the wedding.

Andrew says he engaged a lot more in the organisation of this wedding. His advice? The aim is to bring people together, so the couple can celebrate something that is personal and meaningful to them, without being told how to do it.

"We really thought it through," he says – "carefully and together". (Good practice for making joint decisions in the future.)

Finally, Andrew recommends a gift register – featuring a wide range of prices – or you may end up with three fondue sets.